“Gay Friendly”

The exact meaning of the phrase “gay friendly” escapes our understanding and many of the people who use the term. Yet we continue to hear it said and read it in print all the time. We comprehend the two words individually without any difficulty. The term gay is synonymous with homosexual and is a label used to identify homosexual men. It is also very loosely used as a catch all or umbrella term for the “GLBT Community”. As far as friendly goes, most everyone develops an understanding of friendly and unfriendly at an early age. As we grow and mature so does our reality about friendliness. The friendliness of an individual or group of individuals can only be gauged by our personal experience or the experience of those with views that we know to be aligned with our own.
Joining words together into sentences and phrases increases the possibilities for individual interpretations of the combined meaning. When we repeatedly hear a term or phrase used by someone with whom our views are not necessarily aligned, we apply our understanding to their usage unknowingly diminishing the meaning of the statement or phrase. The wide array of interpretations of the term “Gay Friendly” have resulted in it becoming a very ambiguous term. There never has been and probably never will be one set definition for this phrase in which everyone will share the same understanding.
“Gay Friendly” is a relatively new term, not having come about until the late 20th century. The phrase is used to describe the new attitudes, feelings, inclusiveness, or level of acceptance of a group of people, hopefully affecting a huge social change in the world. Change does not occur easily. When it involves social development and realignment of the social order it is a very long and difficult process. This process invokes personal attachment, passion, and emotion. The goal of advancing acceptance of the gay community can be lead astray when we allow emotions to influence our interactions.
Further complications of the development of an individuals or businesses “Gay Friendliness” occur from a lack of acceptance when presented with information different from their norm. Upsetting the status quo can be interpreted as a threat. Yet others may be more progressive and they are not as threatened. So, while an individual’s current reality or growth will vary so will their degree of “Gay Friendliness”.
We had not given the understanding of this term much thought, prior to developing Gay2zCamping.com. Many of the businesses we are in contact with are considered “Gay Friendly”. There are noticeable differences in the nature, feel or tone of these businesses which can not be ignored. We need to communicate these variations clearly to our members so they can easily distinguish the atmosphere at any given location. We determined that the term “Progressive” is much better suited to express the nature of a business or how forward thinking it may or may not be.
The word progressive is used to indicate development is occurring gradually or incrementally. In the context of the gay community it tells us there are new ideas and ways of doing things that encourage societal change. It indicates advancement and reform from an existing condition or norm. The word progressive more precisely depicts the understanding sought when the phrase “Gay Friendly” was coined. By indicating a level of progressiveness we can more accurately depict the acceptance concerning policies supportive of GLBT people in the workplace and as a distinct consumer group for any business, organization, or individual. Progress indicates evolution and when we talk about people in society evolving it is human nature that they do so at different rates.
“Gay Friendly” is static or stagnant and does not give us any indication there may be differences, or varying degrees of friendliness. We think of “Gay Friendly” absolutely as we do black or white. The truth is several variations of gray are in between. With this in mind we created our “Purple Camper Rating”. With five distinct levels of progressiveness we feel this scale provides familiar indicators to the evolution, nature and tone of each business.
As individuals and businesses evolve at a rate that is unique to their autonomous beliefs and needs, we can choose to affiliate ourselves utilizing the same criteria. Treating society with the expectation that everyone is evolving at the same rate is detrimental to the change the gay community is seeking. A growing community cannot afford to live with disdain for the society it is encouraging to evolve for its benefit. We will invariably come across people who feel threatened by differences and express it in inappropriate ways. Evolution is a state of flux, which does not occur uniformly for everyone. It is essential that we always put our best foot forward and practice the very acceptance and compassion we seek. We need to meet others where they are without judgment. This does not mean that we have to like them.
Many in mainstream society do not know what to think about GLBT community members. With that in mind, what must they think of some guy in chaps with just a jock-strap on underneath marching in a Pride Parade? Is this public presentation and perception representative of our community? When you think of a Baptist churchgoer what are your perceptions of that individual and their perceptions of you?
If we are mindful of our personal presentation and the manner in which we interact we can move our community above the negative perceptions that currently hinder our evolution. Most of us don’t like to be stereotyped so why do we play the part? The GLBT community is not that different than the rest of society. We are a cross section of the population that has different looks, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and standards. We want to be respected for who we are as individuals and as a community. We need to respect society as a whole using the same standards of respect that we want to be treated with. We won’t all see eye to eye but through mutual respect we might agree to disagree.
Where is your level of respect for members of your community? How do you represent the GLBT community through your actions? What is the message you are sending to the world when you act inappropriately for the environment? Are you trying to shock mainstream society into acceptance in an attempt to get the civil rights that you deserve? Have you ever thought about how your actions might negatively affect your community? Do your actions match your words? How are you setting the tone for the world view of the GLBT Community?

“Gay Friendly”… Where do you stand?

“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” ~Maya Angelou (American Poet, b.1928)